Happy Birthday…Where’s my Gift?

The anniversary of my life has come again. Happy birthday to Me!

photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net Stuart Miles

photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
Stuart Miles

Do you remember how awesome birthdays were when we were kids? If you don’t, Just ask a child about his birthday and watch the magic in his eyes. My kindergarten girl just had a conversation with me about her birthday. It went something like this:

Mom, why do people have to work on my birthday?
Hon, it’s because your birthday is during the week and that is when most people work.
But Mom, shouldn’t we have the day off? It is a holiday, right?

That’s how special birthdays are to my child…she thinks the whole world celebrates her day because in my house we make birthdays a big deal. Except for mine. My loved ones reap the benefit of my tendency to overdo things, but I draw the line at overdoing my own festivities so I’ve had to do the mom thing and grin through cheesy antics, no decorations,  and less than impressive homemade giftings. I’m not ungrateful though; just poking fun at the  situation.  And being honest. That’s what happens to moms but the love is always there. Always.

And in all truthfulness, as my kids get older (and as I get more needy and whiny) my family has risen to the challenge to make my day just as grand as I help make theirs. Hubby has even stepped up the gift giving with amazingly thoughtful gifts, which is quite frankly my favorite part of the festivities. So favorite, in fact, that I have decided to finally give myself a gift this year.

Image curtesy of master isolated images/freedigitalphotos.net

Image curtesy of master isolated images/freedigitalphotos.net

I am starting a new tradition and investing in this “happy birthday to me” by giving myself…PERMISSION.

PERMISSION is a gift that lots of us could unwrap in our lives. What excuses have you used to keep yourself bound up, locked in, or just plain stuck in the ruts of your life? Routines that, albeit safe, keep your heart in a state of dissatisfaction. If only you took that chance, found the courage to take that step, gave yourself PERMISSION to dream, to hope, to aspire, to set in motion the gifts that are found in you…what life awaits you? Will you give yourself permission to find out?

This birthday year, I give myself PERMISSION. God has given me gifts and dreams…of which you are a part. And I am giving myself PERMISSION to step towards them. I will make time for myself. I will take the more difficult but most successful road. I will stop watching and comparing myself with everyone else and investing regularly in myself. As I open up my gift, would you share it with me? I will be sharing my journey as it unfolds, laying a foundation for success and living life as it develops. We will continue to search out authenticity, face fears, and no matter what else learn to take whatever life dishes and still remain…

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JUST PEACHIE

Thanks for sharing this day with me. Want to make my birthday even better? Would you please share this post with everyone you know? There may be some cake in it for you (you’d have to buy it for yourself as and then you can eat it…but I give you permission to do so!)

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May I be honest? I am a liar of the worst kind.

I’m not the kind of liar who is malicious or purposefully evil, but I am a liar of the worst kind. You heard right…the worst that I can think of anyway.

Now I can just hear my Daddy say to me, “Peachie-peach,(that’s what he calls me) you could never be the worst kind of anything!” (He is unashamedly biased like that and I am still thrilled that he is!) But, sorry Daddy, I am. Just what kind of liar am I?

Let’s see.

If you were to graph lies from harmless to just plain nasty, the categories may look like this:

Courtesy of Stuart Miles @freedigitalphotos.net

Courtesy of Stuart Miles @freedigitalphotos.net

Precious liar: the kind that lies because they don’t know any better, like my two year old.

Scaredy pants liar: the kind that lies because they don’t want to get caught, like my four year old
…and every teenager I know

Evil liar: the kind that lies knowingly and willingly…you know who I’m talking about

Then there’s me, the Truthful liar: the worst kind of liar whose lies she believes to be truth. 

Yes, I am such a good liar that when I lie to myself, I actually believe what I am saying. As a matter of fact, I don’t even realize that I am lying. In my mind, I am doing the right thing. I am doing what in my mind I think I am supposed to do, what “you” think would be the proper thing to do. Thing is, surface truth is all you are getting. Deep down, I am evil.

Courtesy of Stuart Miles @freegitialphotos.net

Courtesy of Stuart Miles @freegitialphotos.net

For instance, when you tell me that you just got a new house and a promotion and I hug you and say that it is so wonderful for you…I’m lying. I wish it was me.

When your kid beats mine at anything and I tell my child that it is her effort that I am most proud of, I’m lying. I wanted her to win.

When I do a ten minute workout and then eat french fries afterwards, I’m lying to myself. I did not work off those extra calories.

When, at the end of the day, I zone out to Netflix because I spent my whole day “working” and I “deserve” it, I’m lying. I am looking for a way to be lazy.

When you find out that my son is wearing a leg brace not because he broke it but because it is a condition, and you smile and say, “Oh, he’s so cute though,”, I may smile back at you, LIES… I’ve slapped you in my mind.

When everything has gone wrong, yet I speak with such confidence that everything is going to be ok. LYING…I am scared that what I want to happen, won’t. Then how will I uphold my faith…to “you”?

Yup. If I may be brutally honest with you and with myself, I am taken aback with just how many lies I have actually lived. I’ve believed these lies and more. Until today. My family is going through a season of birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones. This time of year moves my mind to reflection and this year the mirror was not kind, and I am so thankful for this painful awakening.

Because now I can change it.

I want to continue to live life fully, not fearfully. I want to deal with life as it comes, instead of trying to defend it. I believe there is growth, there is purpose, and there is promise in the pain and the shortcomings I try so hard to avoid. I want to know that life. 

And that life is there for me if I can stop lying…… and start LIVING.

Have you ever found yourself trying to be the man or woman you want to be but you find yourself pretending to be that person, instead of actually being her or being him? In all honesty, I am done lying to myself. This may not be the “build-your-blog-base” post I should write, but authentic yet successful living is what I am compelled to write. If you want to take this journey with me and bring others along, follow these next few blog posts. I want to see change, not just talk about it. If you are ready  (I promise not to tell your dad), then please join me. I have some principles I have lived and learned that will help us in this quest for living in Truth. They are not my own…I am not that smart. However, wisdom comes not from coming up with the right ideas but living them.

Life isn’t easy, but with a little effort it can be…

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COMING SOON…THE NEW KID ON THE BLOG!

curtesy of Stuart Miles freedigitalphotos.net

courtesy of Stuart Miles freedigitalphotos.net

I am so excited to be the New Kid on the Blog Yes, I did go there. Yes, I was a teen girl in the 80s/90s. Yes, I know all the words to The Right Stuff. No I won’t sing it for you, but let’s hope I have just the right stuff for this blog! Hope you’ll join me for all things life-inspired and non-fattening

Telstar Test Launch

 (Photo credit: jurvetson)

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Launch date: Monday, April 29th.

I can’t promise you our talks won’t get personal at times, but I do promise to be real, to be honest, and to be present.

Together we will savor what life dishes and everything will be as it should be…

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